The Witham Staple considers life in general 

Topical issues are aired and forthcoming events detailed each month in The Witham Staple printed magazine: 

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A list of contacts for local interest  and community groups is updated in September each year:

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The Witham Staple is mandated to reflect what is happening in our Lincolnshire community (i.e. the villages of Aubourn, Bassingham, Carlton le Moorland, Norton Disney, Stapleford, Thurlby, Witham St Hughs and the rural areas surrounding these villages).

This page includes items that address life in general or in a light hearted way.

Minor Irritations / Simple Pleasures

Common Complaints / Simple Pleasures

Banking does not get easier

Every Body Has Its Bones

Country Wisdoms

All a Spin

 

"A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use." 

Washington Irving [WS April 2005]

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Minor Irritations...

junk mail and unsolicited ‘offers’

shops where staff seem far too busy tidying up to serve you

‘open here’ tabs too small to hold and too tough to budge

yet another TV advert for... yes, you guessed it! — a car

the ‘friend’ who tells you everything.., and listens to nothing

football buffs who could have done a better job than the players

the driver who pretends you’re not there rather than let you into the traffic queue

And Simple Pleasures…

the scent of a field of beans in flower

the envelope whose handwriting you recognise and welcome

that cup of tea in garden shade on a hot summer’s afternoon

the parent who stops and listens to what a toddler has to say

the simplest meal shared with people who are good company

simply... people who are good company!

Most of us probably find the occasional moan quite sa1isfying! But the canny thing is to find more reasons for being pleased than ones to complain about — otherwise you find yourself belonging to the first list rather than the second! Life is full of simple pleasures. What are your favourites? [WS July 2004]

Minor Irritations...

• the motorist who doesn’t let you in when the traffic is in a queue

• the ‘friend’ who tells you everything.., and listens to nothing

• shops with a ‘Pay Here’ notice that you somehow just can’t find

• ‘safety’ jars and bottles that need a wrestler’s grip to open them

• the waiter/waitress who asks if ‘everything was all right for you’

• prices that end in 99p

• football penalty shoot-outs...

And Simple Pleasures…

• the irresistible smell of newly baked bread

• the squeal of swifts flying across the summer skies

• the happy wagging of a dog’s tail who knows he’s pleased you

• that first cup of good English tea when you’re back from abroad

• gardens heavy with the evening scent of orange blossom

• the utter delight of a toddler who discovers they can run

• hanging out the washing on a sunny morning

• eyes that don’t need words to say what they feel...

Most of us probably find the occasional moan quite satisfying! But the canny thing is to find two reasons for being pleased for every one you complain about. Life is full of simple pleasures. What are your favourites?

[WS Jun 2003]

Common Complaints

• the idiot motorist who sits on your tail till he can burn past

• the ‘friend’ who tells you “you look well”, in a surprised tone

• shop assistants who finish their conversation while you wait to be served

• football penalty shoot-outs...

And Simple Pleasures

• the squeal of swifts flying across the summer skies

• gardens heavy with the evening scent of orange blossom

• the utter delight of a toddler who discovers they can run

• Hanging out the washing on a sunny morning...

Life is full of simple pleasures. What are your favourites?

[WS Jul 2002]

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Banking does not get easier!

The HSBC mobile bank paid its final visit to Bassingham on Tuesday 23rd September. The service is unfortunately to be discontinued. A reminder that account holders with Alliance & Leicester, Barclays or Lloyds TSB can use local post offices. [WS Oct 2003]

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Every Body Has Its Bones

Any Organisation has its different groups of bones. First there are the wishbones, who spend their time wishing somebody would do something - but that, of course, doesn't include themselves. 
Then there are the jawbones, who have plenty to say about everything, but don't lift a finger to actually do anything.

The third group are the knucklebones; their sole purpose is to demolish anything that anybody else suggests, but have no ideas of their own. Of course,these first three groups are all close relations of the lazybones. 

Lastly, thank goodness, there are the backbones, who can recognise a problem at ten paces and with no fuss, just get underneath it and do the work that's needed.  What sort of a bone are you, do you think? [WS Feb 2005]

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Country Wisdoms

Fair weather on St Giles Day (1st September), fair for the rest of the month!

Please let us know some others!

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All a Spin 

I've been round and round trying to find you. 

We are meant to be a pair. 

I'm no use without you near me 

- thought you might be tangled up with something else. 

Other people are looking for you,

 but everything has been sorted now and still no sign of you. 

Last night we were just feet apart, 

so this morning should have seen us together. 

I'm in a spin and feeling totally washed out. 

OK it's not the scrap heap for me yet - you may turn up unexpectedly, 

but if not what good is one clean sock!

 

Witham Staple Web Editor can be contacted by e-mail: info@withamstaple.com